How to choose the right person.
Short, sourced pieces on the part of dating nobody teaches you: choosing the person you'd build a life with. Written by Elena Marsh — who spent her twenties on the apps, met her partner at 31, and now writes for people trying to do it with more care.
latestHow to find the right partner (without turning it into a spreadsheet)
The couples who look effortless usually chose well early. Here's the small, unromantic method that worked for me — and what four decades of couples research keeps landing on.
July 22, 2026 · 7 min
How to know if someone is the one
“You just know” is a story people tell after the fact. The real signals are quieter, they show up early, and they hold up when the good weekend ends.
6 min
What to look for in a life partner (the honest short list)
There are maybe six qualities that reliably predict a good long-term partner. Almost none of them show up on a dating profile — and almost none of them are what I was looking for at 26.
7 min
Green flags in a relationship: the boring, load-bearing ones
Most viral “green flag” lists are personality tests in disguise. The ones that actually predict a good partner are quieter — and they showed up, in my case, on the second date.
6 min
Dating for marriage, without making it weird
Most single people expect to marry someday. Almost none of them say so out loud. The case for naming it early — and the exact words that don't sound like a business plan.
6 minDating with intention, minus the self-help voice
Underneath the wellness vocabulary is a boring, useful idea: stop dating on autopilot. What intentional dating actually is, what it isn't, and five habits worth stealing.
6 min
How to bring up wanting kids (earlier than you think)
The kids question feels like it belongs to month six. By month six you've built something that hurts to unbuild. When to ask, what to actually say, and how to hear the answer.
6 min
Questions that tell you if someone's serious
You don't need better instincts. You need better questions. Fifteen of them, grouped by what they reveal — and how to tell a serious answer from a smooth one.
7 minWhat your “ideal timeline” answer actually signals
At 23, people expect to marry around 29. At 27, around 33. At 31, around 36. The destination moves with the traveler — unless something anchors it. Usually a person.
5 minThe dating recession is real. Here's the data.
In 2025, researchers surveyed 5,275 unmarried young adults. One in three were actively dating. 86% still expect to marry. A tour of the gap between those two numbers.
6 minThe best dating apps if you want a family someday
If you know you want a family someday, most apps make you smuggle that in like contraband. An honest comparison — and yes, I write for one of them.
7 min
Can AI actually predict what your baby will look like?
Short answer: no. Not Bean, not anyone. Eye color alone involves 61 regions of the genome. What AI baby generators actually do — and the honest case for using one anyway.
5 min
How to find the right partner (without turning it into a spreadsheet)
The couples who look effortless usually chose well early. Here's the small, unromantic method that worked for me — and what four decades of couples research keeps landing on.
Read the piece →How to know if someone is the one
“You just know” is a story people tell after the fact. The real signals are quieter, they show up early, and they hold up when the good weekend ends.
What to look for in a life partner (the honest short list)
There are maybe six qualities that reliably predict a good long-term partner. Almost none of them show up on a dating profile — and almost none of them are what I was looking for at 26.
Green flags in a relationship: the boring, load-bearing ones
Most viral “green flag” lists are personality tests in disguise. The ones that actually predict a good partner are quieter — and they showed up, in my case, on the second date.
Dating for marriage, without making it weird
Most single people expect to marry someday. Almost none of them say so out loud. The case for naming it early — and the exact words that don't sound like a business plan.
Dating with intention, minus the self-help voice
Underneath the wellness vocabulary is a boring, useful idea: stop dating on autopilot. What intentional dating actually is, what it isn't, and five habits worth stealing.
How to bring up wanting kids (earlier than you think)
The kids question feels like it belongs to month six. By month six you've built something that hurts to unbuild. When to ask, what to actually say, and how to hear the answer.
Questions that tell you if someone's serious
You don't need better instincts. You need better questions. Fifteen of them, grouped by what they reveal — and how to tell a serious answer from a smooth one.
What your “ideal timeline” answer actually signals
At 23, people expect to marry around 29. At 27, around 33. At 31, around 36. The destination moves with the traveler — unless something anchors it. Usually a person.
The dating recession is real. Here's the data.
In 2025, researchers surveyed 5,275 unmarried young adults. One in three were actively dating. 86% still expect to marry. A tour of the gap between those two numbers.
The best dating apps if you want a family someday
If you know you want a family someday, most apps make you smuggle that in like contraband. An honest comparison — and yes, I write for one of them.
Can AI actually predict what your baby will look like?
Short answer: no. Not Bean, not anyone. Eye color alone involves 61 regions of the genome. What AI baby generators actually do — and the honest case for using one anyway.